Thursday. 2nd May. Parental alienation article
This week has seen more of that same nasty legal stuff that is the reason we have not been able to speak or see each other for over 3 years now. I came across a very helpful article about Parental alienation and how people react. Its a bit beyond your reading age, but it shows you that what we are going through happens to a lot of children. And it shows you the cause and how different people react and manage. So I will summarize the important bit.
As the years go by without any contact, it has a bad effect on both the child and the missing parent. Here is an extract from that article:
“Parents may also have to accept that they may be blamed for the rejection– blamed not only by family and friends, but blamed by society. No one likes to point fingers these days, after all; it is socially unacceptable. As noted by Dr. Richard Warshak (2011), attributing a parent-child problem to both parents, when one parent is clearly more responsible for destructive behavior, is a misguided effort to appear balanced and avoid blame.
When to let go? First and foremost; it is personal. Dr. Warshak’s book, Divorce Poison (2010), notes that the parent may see no viable option other than to let go of active attempts to overcome the problem. As a caveat, he notes, “I just urge all alienated parents and relatives, and all therapists who work with these families, not to wave the white flag of surrender too soon.” He offers seven suggestions about the possibility of letting go. One suggestion is when all legal channels to improve the situation have been exhausted.”
The reality is all legal channels were exhausted long ago and you and me both have a very strong case against British family law. Summed up by this picture. But I do not want to ‘wave the white flag of surrender‘. I very much want you to be in my life. Despite British family-courts ruling.
On the one hand, you should not be drawn into this nasty legal nonsense. On the other, the reality is one parent did lie and take a lying claim to court and create this situation. And you have every right to know. “attributing a parent-child problem to both parents, when one parent is clearly more responsible for destructive behavior, is a misguided effort to appear balanced and avoid blame.”
The reality is, as I am sure you already know, one parent is clearly responsible for bringing a deceitful court action that traded visitation for financial reward as a result of which we have not spoken for over three years now. To try and prevent you knowing how this was done “is a misguided effort to appear balanced and avoid blame.” And yet, there is no balance in this situation and there most definitely is blame that must be attached to the fact you have not been able to see me for over three years. And before that – during the first six months after you were taken away, a family lawyer made sure, by fighting tooth and nail,with guile and deceit, that you would not be able to stay overnight with me. That first six months is a vital time for a young child. And you were four. You should know how hard I tried to have you with me. And you should know how hard family law members worked and lied to make sure that did not happen.
That was six years ago. It has been an awful period of time for me. I did not choose to not see you. You did not choose not to see me. One member of family law decided to play the family law system and the outcome is what it is. Because it is what it is, you have every right to know who did what. And inevitably you will.
In the meanwhile. Two things. 1.) I am going to write once a week from now on. Every Thursday. And 2.) You know that this summer holiday is open for you to spend with me. The only reason it won’t happen is if family-law members obstruct you coming to me. This has been the case since you left – on fathers day, 2013. Every holiday since 2014 I have tried to have you with me. It is clear from events twice every year for the past four years that “one parent is clearly more responsible for destructive behavior” because you will have noticed you have not been able to spend even one week with me.
if it doesn’t happen this summer holiday, we will hope for December holiday. And if not then, Summer holiday 2020. And if not then December 2020. And if not then, perhaps family law will be held to account for the horrific child abuse arising from the family-court judgment in your case.
Meanwhile, I miss you,