August 15th. Miss you
Summers coming to an end and the school holidays too. I tried very hard to have you with us for the summer holiday but I failed again. Its the same story every time. Alder/Amlot and O’Leary represent family law. And they simply do not agree to let you have the unfettered access with me that you deserve. I try to make them accountable, but nothing happens. I have written to the president of family law. I have written to the Solicitors regulation authority. I have detailed clear breaches of the ethics code that solicitors must obey and despite all of this, you will notice nothing has worked because you haven’t seen me since February 2016. Apart from the bitter disappointment for us both, the time it has wasted and the effect this has on the reputation and credibility of both British family law and the three miscreants ensuring that your right to unfettered contact with me fails, is actually breathtaking. They seem to believe that you will never know the facts of why your visits with me have been obstructed for so long.
Well, as you are back to school in a few weeks, I can’t see any prospect of any change this summer and so our next hope must be the December holiday. I will keep trying on my side. And in the meanwhile I will keep writing every week.
This weeks news is, all work. I am writing a lot. And hoping that my new book will be optioned for a TV series. It is interesting to learn that family law has affected many people the way it has you and me. And that makes it interesting for TV channels. And for professionals who work on the psychology of family law and acrimonious separation involving children. One doctor I know has presented a psychological condition that does relate to our position. Malicious Mother syndrome. It includes mothers who believe they can say whatever they like because neither parent can ever talk to the child about who did what. But this is not reliable. We know know that it is best for child’s development to know the facts.
If one parent behaves badly, they cannot rely on any court protection preventing their child victim ever finding out.
While I am all too aware that you are under the control of your mother and do not want to destabilize your position in that relationship, it is right that you know her conduct in blocking the unfettered access between us has been consistent from the beginning, after she left. And has been accompanied by demands for a great deal of money. In other words, while she has prevented visitation based on lies, she has made plain that if I gave her a chunk of money, she would agree unfettered visitation immediately. Only because I called that blackmail and did not give her the money, she blocked the visitation.
When I applied to family-court to force her to let you spend weekends with me, soon after you were taken away, first she never gave me the address of where you were, so I couldn’t even write, unless I paid her £100,000, and then when I went to court, she lied and said you would not be safe having unfettered access with me. This is, as you know, untrue. You wanted to be with me and I wanted to be with you. The only reason she objected and said you would not be safe, is because she made it clear to me that unless I paid her demands, she would make sure you never saw me with her agreement. And family law validates mothers making that claim. If a judge is unable to see through the lie. And decides the mother is telling the truth, then that’s it. That is the weakness in the system and it is the weakness that a junior judge, Michele ‘Leary used to make a dreadful judgement that abused you and cost me over £3 million, which is why I cannot live in England anymore. And have no house. Or rental flats.
In other words, the unfettered visitation, where you are able to be with me and that is that. A simple agreement of a start date and an end date and then we know we have that time together to plan and do stuff. But no. Her lawyer is Tom Amlot. I have tried repeatedly to get him to convince Adler to agree to your seeing me. But he in fact has put in writing to me that he advised Adler not to allow you to see me. And so here we are. August 15th, s019, and all we have are these weekly letters, that I don’t even know if you are receiving.
Phyllis is also very affected by missing you. She has tried many times to get agreement to see you. But her efforts, like mine, are not met with kindness or concern for you. Adler does not even reply to her offers for visitation. In this, Adler is consistently conflicted, choosing the lawyer over the mother. What mother wouldn’t want her son to see his father? It appears her love of money and winning in law makes her blind to the reality that you want to see your father. And your father wants to see you and be a part of your life.
So we will keep on trying, knowing what we have learned from the past 6 years. They will keep obstructing, not only visitation, but also conversation on skype.
Clearly many elements of Malicious Mother syndrome affect her thinking. And there is parental alienation in play. I say that should be illegal and am making efforts to encourage litigation to make it a criminal offense As I believe it should be when a parent prevents unfettered access on grounds that are both dirty-rotten-lies and abusive to the child.
Perhaps Adler and her family law friends will come to realize that you would benefit from being with me. And put an end to this child abusing nonsense. There is no reason for you not to have unfettered access with me. Their objections are, as I have pointed out, based on the blackmail attempt for money. Using family-law to cause astonishing financial harm to me, in addition to obstructing our visitation, unless I agreed to her financial demands. It really is not acceptable behavior, even for someone who is not a member of family law and bound by an ethical code. Blackmail and lying are not in the SRA ethical code.
I hope we can get the agreement to spend the December holidays together, and every summer and winter holiday after that. In fact, if you want to go to school here, that offer is always open for you. I am very good at teaching, especially Maths. And tennis, and music, and geography and travel, and cycling, and swimming, and kayaking, and windsurfing, and hiking, and water skiing, and skiing, and dog training, and drumming, and being kind. You would have a great education here at a top school. And you can then go spend summer and winter holidays with your mother. Either way is fine with me.
I hope you are well. And if you can get a chance to reply in a way that I know is not under the control of Adler telling you what to say, in other words, unfettered contact, then do.